in grief of a lost child...


That was February 25, she started bleeding. At small amounts at first, then gradually filling up her sanitary napkins. At quick search on the internet provided information that this is more or less normal for pregnancies below 3 months.

Night came, but so as the flow of blood. Small amounts of thick blob of blood can be seen. Blood clots were visible. Keeping our cool, we went to bed and slept.

We woke up early and proceeded right away to the hospital to see our OB. A couple of hours of waiting and finally the most awaited consultation. The OB did her job and suggested to us to have an ultrascan. And so we did.

The ultrascan reveiled a image of a sac. The baby was supposed to be at most 2 months old but the findings say otherwise. It was just 5 weeks or less. Something wasn't right. But still, with hope, we went back to the OB. She said to wait for 2 weeks to see if there would significant developments to the condition of the baby. When that day comes, we would have another ultrascan.

We left for our hometown to attend to my cousin's wedding. After a couple of days, since our stay would be abruptly extended due to significant reasons, we decided to have the ultrascan in our hometown which would prove advantages because we know a lot of people, and indeed, we got a discount on our ultrascan. (BTW, thank you to my cousin-in-law, Tara)

We did indeed got a discount, but the ultrascan result was devastating that no discount could ever suffice. There was no baby anymore. All that was left was supposed to be "bed of roses" while sleeping peacefully for 9 months. It was a sad day. (It is even sadder while I'm writing all these, and recalling the moment.)

There was no baby. With a heavy heart, we went on to tell our parents. They were heart-broken as well.

There was no baby. We went on to tell our relatives.

There was no baby. We went on to tell our friends.

He or She was our first.